Unusual beetle - can anyone identify it?

I found this unfortunate specimen drowned in some water I was dumping from a big tub we keep outside after the rain last night. Does anyone recognize it?

Looks a bit like a pine sawyer.  How long is it.

That's the funny thing. It's sitting on my patio, and those pavers are 1 foot square each. So I guess it's like 2 feet long?

Just kidding. It's maybe 1.5-2 inches without the creepy antennae.

Pine sawyer, then,  And, for the record, long-horned beetles think our ears are a bit creepy.

Thanks for the entomology express lesson this morning. 

Although I am curious about your intimate knowledge of beetle feelings. Are you, like, Beetle Man or something? (As opposed to Ant Man)

I just replaced my outdoor light fixture and tons of bugs, including beetles like this, fell out (glad it wasn't me doing the replacing).  I called the exterminator because we thought most of the bugs were termites (they were flying ants) and I asked about the beetles since I'd never seen these before.  He said it was from the newly planted landscaping in front of my house.  Really huge ugly things!

i thought it might be a firefly, but when i googled, I saw they look nothing like it.

It looks like a beetle.