Compose a limerick about the person above you...
He writes limericks hour after hour.
He created a new thread
to rise up and be read,
But instead it's a place that he'll cower.
On your spiteful rhyme, it's near prose!
I hope that this thread
Is a place folks will head
Their own limericks to compose.
It's the person above who I'm minding?
This was not said
in the "Haiku Thread."
I think folks will need constant reminding.
We won't be too strict in this spot.
But not a thread silly.
With verse willy-nilly.
The "Haiku Thread" this is not.
To be a limerick Bard.
Than Lar's lousy verse
Yours couldn't be worse.
Take this as a challenge, en garde!
Far and above all the rest.
Unfortunately, though
From my head to my toe
With limericks I'm too obsessed.
Of poems you never can top.
You must burst my bubble.
'fore I get into trouble.
Somebody tell me to STOP!
To stop taking Limericks in stride
He'd write for a while
Then start to smile
And wonder if poetry had died.
In this thread, that it was my own.
But there's always a fan
To hold out her hand.
Thank goodness for crystalline Joan.
though i'm sure that would really be lovely
but while it might be so hot
daddyrock would say "not!"
so i'll settle for him to kiss me and hug me
You and me, we know what great sex is.
There'd be no exempting
Even though you are tempting.
Thank God you moved down to Texas.
Who called Maplewood, NJ her home
broken ankle she tended
she sat while she mended
posting insights on rebuilding her bone.
(dang it, you all are too fast!)
are much faster rhymers than me
some of their topics, I find
are risque-er than mine
innuendos run quite rampant, I see
With no ideas, no goals and no plan
Sometimes I get fraught.
And it all comes to naught.
What rhymes with USMNTFan?
With all kinds of ideas in my head
Mr. T keeps them rolling
With no need for cajoling
Yet, I eek out one rhyme and I'm dead!
My argument you'll find compelling
You yell "eek" when you're scared
So, it's "eke," mon frere.
Behind grammar, what's most key is spelling.
your rhymes are never a dud
but when i read your corrections
i lose my erections
and my lust for you falls with a thud
when in fact he should try to beseech her
he wants folks to write
then actually causes fright
with his spelling correction feature
And I blush when you look askance
Though your point is well taken
Indeed I'm mistaken
Who the hell likes a smarty-pants!
(Ahh beaten to the punch!)
I guess it's my predilection.
But I go into shock,
When Ms. Mommyrock
Mentions her lustful erection.
would you really be so complexing
as to criticize her hair
not matching "down there"
your corrections are similarly vexing
causes some people to freak
but what's more telling
is his devotion to spelling
while putting grammar down as meek
(shoot, that's not quite right)
And proceeed to remove your capes.
Mommy, I really don't care.
If it's stinky down there.
Or the carpeting don't match the drapes
you both need to be taken in hand
you're setting expectation
bound for deflation
given neither of you wants to be banned
To your warnings I guess I will cave.
But I am not planning
On getting a banning.
I'm not worried 'bout Dave.
In fact it makes all life divine
mentioning bulbous projections
or lust filled intentions
is rather a habit of mine
As talk of erection abates
It may be for the better
Though the thread will be deader
Unless this rule someone plans to negate
But I'll keep on having my say
I'll stick to my course
and keep posting verse
Until the timer rings - oh, yay!
(lunch
) my own lines I have been handed
for being a prude
didn't mean to be rude
clearly more 'sex' is what is demanded
No doubt from too much of sin,
Instead of inflation, we now have deflation
Including erections: can't win.
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In a pinch, they'll likely do fine.
But the only real reason
They sound at all pleasin'
Is you haven't lately heard mine.
For a limerick to have good result
It's me you have to consult
I'll give you a clue
First thing that you do
Is decide who you want to insult.
I'll give you another instruction.
For limerick's successful construction
Be sure that your rhyme
Is really sublime
And not just a whim or compunction.
Edited to Add: I composed these limericks for another thread but was told "No more limericks!" so I started this thread. Please respond in kind.